(This article originally appeared in the TAU-USA Winter 2023 Issue #108)

By Kathleen Molaro, OFS

Franciscan Youth and Young Adult Commission Chair

With her permission, I share with you a conversation I had with my young adult granddaughter.

We hadn’t been together in person for a while, and sat with a cup of tea, enjoying each other’s company.

Me: A while ago I talked to you when you were struggling with depression and  a lack  of enthusiasm for going to Church or even praying.

Sophia: I was going through a rough time. Going to Mass seemed like a burden, something I had to do. I didn’t believe I had any relationship with God. As a high schooler, I also felt a bit used. Our youth group was always being asked to set up chairs, serve at Church dinners, babysit, and that sort of thing. I really didn’t feel like I belonged in any meaningful way. There was something missing in my life, and I didn’t know what it was.

Me: Now you seem focused and strong in your faith. What caused that change, do you think?

Sophia: I felt lost and alone when my family moved across the country. I had no friends, no school because I had just graduated from high school, and had a brand-new environment to get used to. Then COVID struck. The only socializing I had with people my age was online. When I shared my feeling of loss and confusion with a stranger in a blog, she encouraged me to pray for God’s will for my life. “God has a purpose for you,” she said. “Pray for Him to reveal it to you. You may be in for a surprise. There’s something waiting for you.” We had a simple conversation that I pondered for quite a while. That little comment stirred a change in me.

Me: Sometimes even little moments in our life  really transform us. Sounds like that was one of them! Did you have any other particular bigger incidents that influenced where you are now in your faith life?

Sophia: When my friend died in a car accident, I came to a point in my life where I had to make a choice. I could run from God and wallow in despair and anger, or I could seek God to help me through. I also really believed if I wanted to see my friend again someday in Heaven, I would need to live a worthy life and keep my eyes on the Kingdom! The conversation about purpose in life resurfaced in my heart. I chose the path toward God, and now I have a great desire to encourage others to walk the same path. Maybe purpose isn’t necessarily going to school or choosing a job or vocation. Instead, living with purpose might mean choosing a way of life… living with holy intention.

Me: Sounds like your “pondering” bore fruit and sent you on a search.

Sophia: It really did. I delved into many things. I started studying scripture by using Father Mike Schmitz’s Bible in a Year program. I Immersed myself in an on-line 14-part series about the Holy Spirit with Fr. Dave Pivonka. I learned to take Mass more seriously when my mom bought me an Every Sacred Sunday Mass Journal to use during the COVID shut down. Of course, I didn’t do all these things at once. But I just couldn’t get enough. I was so excited, I moved from one study to another.

Me: Did things get better when your Church reopened?

Sophia: My Church has a lot to offer, so I joined the Church choir and a few groups. At a women’s group, one day we were discussing how we share our faith with others. One of the other members asked me, “How do you share your faith with your friends? I imagine it’s different than for us older folks.” My answer was, “What friends? There’s no one my age in the Church. You are my people now, and I really appreciate how you accept me, love me, and listen to me even though I’m a good 30 years or more younger than everyone else.”

Me: So you enjoy your involvement?

Sophia: Certainly, and I know I’m growing closer and closer to God. I am respected as a valuable member of the community. I haven’t been asked to set up chairs in a long time! But I am a little frustrated that there’s no help for me to find other young people. I don’t know how to do that. There might be people my age I don’t know about, maybe even in the Catholic Churches nearby. I really wish there could be a young adult group.

Me: If there was such a group, what would it look like?

Sophia: I think it would be fairly simple. There are so many books and programs to use. We could invite speakers, even folks who could help us with life skills like budgeting or getting a job. The group could find social service projects to work on together and would benefit from lots of sharing and supporting one another in our journeys. We would pray and sometimes go to Mass together. We’d be able to run the group on our own once we have the support and gain leadership skills.

Me: So, back to how to find a purpose in life. What do you think it takes?

Sophia: Determination and follow through—we can’t just talk about it; I believe we need four things: We need to take action!

We need a consistent prayer life—we have to schedule in prayer time and remain faithful to it. It won’t just happen automatically.

We need each other. An inspiring and spiritually healthy community helps a lot, whether it’s people our age or not.

It’s imperative to develop a deep relationship with God. I probably should have said that first!

Sophia: And now, I have a question for you, Grandma. Aren’t these all the things you need too? Do we ever stop looking for purpose, a relationship with God, and a community to help us do all that?

Me: You’re right, Sophia. That’s why I hope we (older and younger) can walk together and bless each other in that journey. You’ve expressed many of the ideas our Youth and Young Adult Commission has discovered in our studying how to bring the Gospel to young people. Hearing from you has validated our work. Thanks for spending this time sharing with me.

You might consider a gift of the Every Sacred Sunday Mass Journal for a young person in your life Found at “https://everysacredsunday.com.”

One Young Lady’s Faith Journey

(This article originally appeared in the TAU-USA Winter 2023 Issue #108)

by Francine Gikow, OFS

Why is being in a fraternity so important? Short Answer: because it is our brothers and sisters who support and challenge us to live the LIFE of a Secular Franciscan. We cannot do it alone! We learn about ourselves and our charism by living in fraternity.  Living with the same people in fraternity for the rest of our lives (unless we relocate) challenges us to an ever-deepening relationship with others in a new family of faith. As family, our Constitutions outline this responsibility when it states: “The brothers and sisters are co-responsible for the life of the fraternity to which they belong…The sense of co- responsibility of the members requires personal presence, witness, prayer, and active collaboration….” (GC 30, 1-2-) Therefore, fraternity is all about relationships and responsibility. Without relationship, we do not have fraternity. Without responsibility, we do not have fraternity. We are co- responsible and co-accountable for our fraternity life. We must be participating “in fraternity” as Secular Franciscans―there are NO isolated members. It is a part of our charism, and it is what we promised at profession. We owe our brothers and sisters our presence. It is VITAL to our vocation.

Our fraternity is canonically established, which means that we are officially an arm of the Catholic Church―so we should be a role model or example of a “little church.” Fraternity is not a prayer group, a business meeting, or a sodality. We are an Order in the Church and have a different goal than any other parish group: our goal is to grow in holiness through living the Secular Franciscan life in fraternity.

To grow in holiness means we need a stable, committed (permanently professed) community of like-minded brothers and sisters to encourage us in our journey, challenge us to conversion and to accompany us in our sorrows and joys. In other words, we need a family! Since fraternity, and the ongoing Franciscan formation it provides, is crucial in our Secular Franciscan journey, we prioritize our attendance at gatherings before parish or other commitments.

There are four essentials that make up a Fraternity Gathering. They are:

• A Communal Prayer Experience
• Announcements (very short in length)
• Ongoing Formation (This is the most important part of the gathering and should be given the longest time allotment,)
• Social

(Please note: All four elements/parts should be present for most meetings except for an occasional celebration or feast.) A time schedule for the fraternity gathering ensures that all four elements are addressed and given their due. There should also be a balance between times for prayer, ongoing formation, business, and social interaction within the fraternity gathering.

The Fraternity Council is encouraged to develop a yearly formation plan or calendar of formation topics for each fraternity gathering. Topics and ideas can come from the CIOFS and National OFS websites, Papal encyclicals, Formation Fridays, TAU articles, Franciscan books, and the identified needs of the fraternity seen by the Council. The regional formation team can be invaluable in helping to locate resources and materials for a particular theme.

Let’s look at each element individually. The suggested time schedule identified in each section is for a two- hour gathering. Of course, if there is additional time available, segments can be lengthened accordingly. Ultimately, the fraternity council is responsible for developing an appropriate schedule for the gathering and adhering to it.

Ongoing Formation: (approx. 30-40 minutes)

Ongoing formation is considered the most important part of a fraternity gathering and is the only place where we are fed Franciscan and lay spirituality, as well as the Franciscan charism. Ongoing formation offers study and practice in the Secular Franciscan Way of Life and through its discussions, reflections, and the sharing of relationships, we develop a cohesiveness of mission in the fraternity’s ongoing formation. Attendance is crucial for each and every gathering, because we are, in a sense, feeding ourselves and others with “Franciscan food” in ongoing formation. When it’s absent, we starve!

Communal Prayer Time: (about 15-20 minutes)

Communal prayer times should be Franciscan in focus and could be taken from a selection of the Liturgy of the Hours or the Office of the Passion, intercessory prayer, a decade of the Crown rosary, Stations of the Cross, Gospel meditation, words of St. Francis or Clare, and many others. Prayer time is NOT a time for private devotions, or the latest trend in pious practices/activities. Please Note: Attending Mass as a fraternity is nice, but it is not a mandatory part of a fraternity’s prayer time.

Announcements: (usually 10 minutes or less)

Fraternity business should be the shortest portion of the fraternity gathering. Announcements of retreats, upcoming events, anniversaries, and deaths can be highlighted in the newsletter, with a short mention at the gathering. Fraternity apostolates and volunteer needs could be discussed with signup sheets available. CIOFS/ NAFRA/Regional News can be listed in the fraternity newsletter and briefly mentioned at the gathering.

The Social: (usually around 30 minutes)

This, too, is an essential part of the gathering. It provides a way to deepen relationships through sharing of personal news within the fraternity in a casual but caring environment. Every gathering should include time for the brothers and sisters to informally share among themselves and encounter each other. From experience, I realize that this element of the fraternity gathering is the most likely of all the elements to extend past its allotted time. It is important, however, that someone is assigned to monitor the time and announce the ending of the social in order to clean up and progress to another part of the gathering. Continued eating during prayer time and/or ongoing formation should be discouraged, because it distracts from prayer and the content of the ongoing formation.

Needless to say, having a loving, active, joyful fraternity does not simply happen. It takes a lot of work!  Because we are a “gathering” not a meeting, we rely on the Holy Spirit guiding us. We are not a business, nor are we “run” like a business, but rather, we lead by consensus and by inspiration of the Holy Spirit. This is known as “servant leadership” in the Secular Franciscan Order. To be a servant leader in the order, is to first serve and animate (inspire) a fraternity. It is sacrificial in nature because it is a gift freely given to the fraternity with a generous spirit of service. The elected Council’s style of servant leadership – is NOT directing, but rather listening deeply and with compassion.

It is NOT “My way or the highway” but rather being open to new ideas/concepts.

IT is NOT power and control but rather valuing and encouraging the growth of others.

The “Ideal” Fraternity has:

• the “anima” (or spirit) of the Franciscan Charism, which is JOY,
• a cohesiveness of fraternal spirit and sharing,
• a sincere love witnessed in personal interactions,
• acceptance and warmth,
• unity of purpose while accepting diversity in expression.

At our profession, we promised to “make the fraternity a genuine ecclesial assembly and a living Franciscan community” (OFS Ritual, p.22). Let us do what we have promised to do!

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

1. What inspired you in this article? Describe what inspired you and
2. What are some “take aways” or ideas you want to remember?
3. What idea or thought challenges you the most and why?
4. What will you change in your Secular Franciscan life as a result of this article?

Our Fraternity Gathering: Our Life!