(This article originally appeared in the TAU-USA Spring 2025  Issue #115)

by Diane Menditto, OFS

National Vice Minister

Listen! ¡Escuchen!

If I have said that word once, I probably said it thousands of times during my thirty-five-year career as a Spanish teacher. The results varied each time the word was uttered in either language.

When I was asked to write an article on communication for this issue of the TAU-USA, I looked back at the many articles (most recently, a 2023 issue) and presentations I’ve given on the topic. An integral part of those sharings has been listening, which will be the main focus here. How we listen–not only with our ears, but with our eyes, our hearts, and our souls–affects who we are as Secular Franciscans, as family members, and as professionals in whatever field we find ourselves.

What kinds of listening require more than just ears? I’m glad you asked. I consulted Microsoft CoPilot to provide a list of the types of listening in both secular and religious settings. Interestingly, it came up with many of the same terms that I have spoken and written about over the years.

We have active listening, empathic listening, critical listening, and reflective listening. These show up in a classroom, business, medical office, repair shop, coffee shop, or supermarket. Active listening requires us to focus our eyes and ears on the speaker. We lean forward to look at and engage the other person. We need to concentrate on what is being said, and our body language (head nods, smiles) will tell the speaker that we hear and understand what is being said.

Empathic listening requires that our minds and hearts help us to feel what the speaker is saying whether we agree or not. Its cousin, reflective listening, often requires paraphrasing what the speaker is saying without injecting an opinion. These kinds of listening help us to build trust if our empathy and understanding are genuine. Critical listening puts the heart aside and keeps the brain well-engaged. We want to hear everything said, putting our emotions and opinions aside, to make the best decision for our family or our fraternity. This very often takes patience and humility.

Other types of listening that we find more often in fraternal and religious settings are contemplative, pastoral, communal, and discernment listening. Obviously, contemplative listening requires us to sit silently, listening for the Holy Spirit’s whisper. We listen to homilies, spiritual direction, and guidance given during reconciliation. In fraternity, we practice communal listening where the goal is the well-being of the fraternity and our spiritual growth. With discernment, we listen to what God is asking of us by asking the Holy Spirit to guide us, perhaps by listening to a trusted individual or spiritual director, reading our Rule, or reading the writings of our founder.

There are some other key things about listening that Artificial Intelligence forgot to list because it is not human! While listening to each other, we must listen to ourselves. Sometimes we stop paying attention to how we sound when we speak or write. We need to hear what our listeners’ body language tells us. The expression “read the room” is good advice. Knowing our audience, whether giving a talk, having a one-on-one conversation, or writing an email, is key to how our message will be received. Listening internally to how we say something is sometimes all that is necessary to avoid having a simple statement or comment become a contentious issue that can destroy the peace of the family or fraternity.

Listening well often means giving up control. It takes wisdom, patience, and humility to listen well. The Holy Spirit has given us these gifts, but it is up to us to use them.

Susan Ronan, OFS

By Susan Ronan, OFS
National Executive Council Secretary

“Time in New England
Took me away
To long rocky beaches…
I feel the change comin’
I feel the wind blow
I feel brave and daring
I feel my blood flow.
With you I could bring out
All the love that I have.
With you there’s a heaven,
So earth ain’t so bad…”

From “Weekend in New England” – (Written by Randy Edelman/Sung by Barry Manilow)

One of our recent Formation Friday’s offered a beautiful reflection on St. Francis’ Canticle of the Creatures that we’re all celebrating during these centennial years. We were asked to write our own canticle. I offer to you my humble “New England Spring Canticle.”

Praised be You, my Lord, with all Your creatures, especially Sir Brother Sun,
who has graciously returned after his long winter’s nap.
And he is beautiful and radiant but like a playful child,
plays hide and seek with the cold and chilly Spring raindrops.

Praised be You, my Lord, through Sister Moon and the stars.
You wake up our little “peeper” friends
to sing a gentle lullaby throughout the dark night.

Praised be You, my Lord, through Brother Wind.
Ah yes, Brother Wind!
Open the windows and watch him cover every piece of furniture with a light dusting of…pollen!
Time to get those eye drops and antihistamines out of the medicine cabinet!

Praised be You, my Lord, through Sister Water.
April showers…and May showers…and June showers!
Thank you for reminding us that, without you,
God’s gardens full of color and sweet nectar
would not give us His great gifts of Nature to enhance our senses.