(This article originally appeared in the Fall 2020 Issue 101 of the TAU-USA)

By Carolyn D. Townes, OFS, National Animator

“Mindful that they are bearers of peace which must be built up unceasingly, they should seek out ways of unity and fraternal harmony  through dialogue, trusting in the presence of the divine seed in everyone and in the transforming power of love and pardon.”
(OFS Rule, Art. 19a)

During these difficult times of political turmoil and racial upheaval, one question keeps coming up over and over again: “What can I do?” I have only one answer: Dialogue with one another. Listen to the stories. Validate the stories. Then you will be able to share your stories.

It doesn’t mean you have to agree with those stories, because after all, they are someone else’s truth–not yours. As Franciscans, we are called to listen, to understand, then to speak from that understanding. Especially when you are engaged in difficult dialogues – about racial tensions or political differences – you want to remain grounded in the Gospel. Jesus had difficult dialogues, but he knew to speak the truth in love, with
empathy, compassion, and peace.

When we attempt to have dialogues, or two parallel monologues, there is a winner and a loser. We go on the attack, we spot a weakness in someone’s argument. We tend to take every comment or opinion that is expressed as a personal affront to our own values and beliefs.

What if we change the way we think about these dialogues? What if, in those heated moments, we choose dialogue over debate? What if we choose to have mindful dialogues? When we engage in mindful dialogues, we flip the script. We replace our ego and desire to win with a sense of curiosity, empathy, and a desire to learn. Instead of coming from a place of judgment, we are genuinely interested in the other person: their experiences, values and concerns. They become other, and not object, to gain the upper hand.

Nazi Concentration Camp survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl once wrote: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” We have that space. In our dialogues, how are we filling that space?

We must engage in mindful and meaningful dialogues that move us forward–not backward, or worse, not at all. Something happens when both speaking and listening are reverenced–it creates a sacred and transformational moment. It is the beginning of being in right relationship with one another. We are called to build connections through mindful dialogue–in relationships, communities, and fraternities. It is taking that space and filling it with curiosity and empathy and reverencing the outcome.

Getting to that place of dialogue can be difficult. We tend to get fired up about what we are passionate about–especially when discussing politics or social justice issues. We can let our ego get in the way of truly hearing the other person’s perspective. In the current climate, those heated debates morph into conflicts where people are even willing to walk away from their relationships, friendships, and fraternities.

After having mindful dialogues, you will discover that your assumptions and biases can be wrong or totally off base. If those conversations don’t happen, the parties remain annoyed and frustrated, causing an undercurrent of disrespect in the relationship.

First, be curious about the other person; their ideas, concerns, perspectives. Then, be willing to listen to them, even when you disagree. By putting aside your own ego and preconceived ideas, you become open to limitless learning. Also be curious and ask questions. Questions allow mindful dialogue to get to a place of true understanding. They allow you to disagree agreeably.

In our conversations and dialogues, the goal is not to win or convert the other to your way of thinking and believing. The goal is to be open to learn, to be curious about the other person, allowing them a safe space to be heard and to voice their opinion. The goal is a true speaking and listening experience, offering empathy rooted in friendship.

https://secularfranciscansusa.org/2020/11/23/franciscan-mindful-dialogues/

(This article originally appeared in the TAU-USA Fall 2020 #101)

NEWS FROM THE NATIONAL EXECUTIVE COUNCIL

COVID-19 changes the National Executive Council’s Plans too.

The National Executive Council (NEC) typically meets 2-4 times per year to conduct the business of the Secular Franciscan Order in the United States with a few phone calls in between meetings. Due to the pandemic the NEC began to meet only virtually. Most of those meetings were two hours or less once or twice a month. In March, the scheduled four-day meeting at the Chiara Center in Springfield, Illinois was replaced by virtual meeting sessions over the same period of time. As of July 2020, the NEC virtually met 15 times in 2020. See chart of meetings for the NEC:

Some specific actions taken during the spring and summer include:

1. Guidelines for Fraternal Gatherings in Times of Social Distancing were issued in May  2020. https://secularfranciscansusa.org/2020/05/13/guidelines-for-fraternal-life-during-socialdistancing/

The guidelines address what types of events can happen virtually (fraternity gatherings, council meetings, and initial formation sessions). Other events will need to be postponed until it is safe to gather together (visitations, elections, and Rites of Admission and Profession).

2.The International Council of the OFS (CIOFS) sent out a draft of new International Statutes this past spring. The NEC reviewed the statutes and drafted comments with recommendations and questions. The draft will be shared with the Regional Ministers for review and comment prior to returning it to the CIOFS this September.

3.The CIOFS elective chapter has been postponed until 2021. Please continue to pray that the Holy Spirit will guide all as CIOFS prepares for the chapter.

4. A new CIOFS website, www.ciofs.info, was launched in early July.

5. Our three National Commissions – Formation, Justice Peace and Integrity of Creation (JPIC) and Franciscan Youth and Young Adults (FY/YA) – were undaunted by the Covid-19 limitations and over this past summer enthusiastically hosted virtual workshops. Hundreds of OFS from across the country benefitted from these gatherings, enjoying both formation and fellowship in large and small groups. At the JPIC Visioning II Workshop, held virtually May 8-9, 2020, 36 national leaders came together to continue the conversation that was begun in August 2019. During this workshop, the idea of JPIC Focus Groups came up as a way to educate and communicate about certain social justice issues: Immigration, Care for Creation, and the Spirituality of JPIC. Less than three weeks later, the world was shocked at the brutal killing of another unarmed black man by police. People were able to see the killing unfold on TV and on social media. Seculars all over the country were crying out, “What is ours to do?” As a result, an additional JPIC Focus Group was formed to address the issue of racism and practice mindful dialogue. This past August, the Formation Commission two-day workshop drew nearly 100 attendees. (See related article in this issue.) The FY/YA Commission hosted weekly gatherings over an 11-week period. All these virtual gatherings have received rave reviews.

6. Guidelines for Regional Archives were approved in May 2020 and have been posted on our webiste. For a copy of the guideline, please contact Jane DeRose-Bamman, OFS ([email protected])

7. Regional Visitations and Elections have been postponed due to the pandemic. NEC members are working closely with the Regional Ministers to see when the events can be rescheduled.

8. The Spanish translation of the OFS Ritual is nearly complete. Many people were involved with this effort. It will be sent for final formatting and printing in the near future. The NEC is looking forward to having this resource become available.

https://secularfranciscansusa.org/2020/11/09/sharing-the-vision/