(This article originally appeared in the TAU-USA Summer 2025  Issue #116)

by Kathleen Molaro, OFS

National FY/YA Commission Chair

As Catholics, we believe that one way God loves us is through other people. Jesus commands us to love one another. “This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples: If you love one another.” (John 13:34)

In her autobiography, The Long Loneliness, Dorothy Day emphasized this truth: “We cannot love God unless we love each other, and to love we must know each other.” The YouFra commission has long advised that the first step in bringing the gospel to young people is to build relationships with them. But the question arises, “How can we do that?” Although there are many ways, there are three necessary attributes to develop.

Practice Virtues

What virtues will help us build relationships? St. Paul tells us, “Put on … heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another.” (Colossians 3:12) When interacting with young people, these virtues give them a glimpse of the depth of God’s love. The way you connect and respond to a younger person is essential.

Be Authentic

Young people are tired of fake news, fake online profiles, AI rather than humans, and people whose actions do not match their words. An article in the online publication, The Conversation, states “this generation has grown up in a digital age where social media and online personas are part of everyday life – as are misinformation, disinformation,” and I would add, outright dishonesty. (https://theconversation.com/topics/relationships)

As a result, young people have had to develop an acute ability to discern what is genuine from what is artificial.

Dorothy Day also wrote in her autobiography: In a good relationship, two people strive to be their most authentic selves. It is in relationships that we find out who we really are, if we embrace the vulnerability of exposing more and more of ourselves to another person.

Young people need to know we’re not perfect and are searching for answers and striving for purpose just as they are. That truthfulness allows them to connect with you in trust, openness, and confidence.

Courageously Encounter

The word “encounter” is a buzz word lately, and rightly so. Don’t we all crave community? The presence of others? A real and honest connection between ourselves and the world? We can’t build relationships from a distance. Pope Francis urged us to be like Christ and become a culture of encounter. He explained, “when we go into the street, every man thinks of himself: he sees, but does not look; he hears, but does not listen.” In short, everyone goes their own way. And consequently, “people pass each other, but they do not encounter each other.” (Pope Francis: Morning Meditation, For a Culture of Encounter, Sept. 13, 2016)

Don’t just pass by a young person. Be creative and courageous. Just as Francis learned when he tried to avoid lepers, we need to see them, hear them, engage with them, and love them as Jesus would.

Kathleen joined the St. Francis YouFra in Phoenix for an evening outreach they’d planned for new students. She asked individuals, “Why did you decide to come tonight?” The conversation revealed their thirst for community and faith sharing opportunities, and helped deepen their relationships with the YouFra leaders.

Carolyn Townes, OFS

The Secular Franciscan Order USA presented the Justice, Peace, and Integrity of Creation (JPIC) Award to Carolyn Townes, OFS, at its annual Chapter gathering held at the Bon Secours Retreat Center September 9-13.

Her acceptance speech, delivered on September 11, inspired the audience of 70 regional ministers, National Executive Council members, commission and committee chairs, and observers.  She spoke of the world’s pain and suffering, and the need to listen to one another’s stories and take heart in the proximity of God’s love.

“We try so hard to steer clear of anything that smacks of pain and suffering, although we are a nation in pain with tremendous suffering. We are brokenhearted. But the Psalmist tells us that God is close to the broken-hearted,” Carolyn said.

The JPIC Award is given to members who embody Franciscan values through their actions and initiatives. Recipients actively promote fairness to others, advance the care of creation, work for reconciliation, and advocate for the human dignity of the marginalized. First established in 1950 as the Peace Award by the North American Federation of the Third Order of St. Francis, the honor continues today under the National Fraternity of the Secular Franciscan Order (NAFRA).

Carolyn has dedicated decades of service to the Order at the local, regional, national, and international levels. For more than ten years, she served as the national OFS JPIC Animator.  She is also a member of the OFS Ecumenical and Interfaith Committee, where she educates on mindful communications and racial justice, with a focus on unconscious bias, empathic listening, and conflict management.

Carolyn extends her leadership throughout the broader Franciscan community. She has served on the board of the Franciscan Action Network and currently sits on the boards of Franciscans International, Pax Christi International Fund for Peace, and the Franciscan Federation. She collaborates closely with the Franciscan Action Network, the Catholic Mobilizing Network, and serves on the Joint Committee on Franciscan Unity.