FORMATION FRIDAY! – Respectful Communication Jan 17, 2020

(From a talk by Fr. Eric Law given at the 2007 Quinquennial)

 

The first part of good communication is good listening skills:

Take RESPONSIBILITY for what you say and feel without blaming others. 

Empathetic listening (or Empathic) is paying attention to another person with empathy [emotional identification, compassion, feeling, insight]. One basic principle is to “seek to understand, before being understood.”

Empathetic Listening is a technique that can help you manage and avoid disruptive and assaultive behaviors. The foundation of the technique can be summarized in 5 simple steps.

Provide the speaker with your undivided attention. This is one-time “multi-tasking” or “rapid refocus” will get you in trouble.

Be non-judgmental. Don’t minimize or trivialize the speaker’s issue.

Read the speaker. Observe the emotions behind the words. Is the speaker angry, afraid, frustrated or resentful? Respond to the emotion as well as the words.

Be Quiet. Don’t feel you must have an immediate reply. Often if you allow for some quiet after the speaker has vented, they themselves will break the silence and offer a solution.

Assure your understanding. Ask clarifying questions and restate what you perceive the speaker to be saying.

 

Following these procedural steps will place you in a better situation for addressing the key issue.

Be SENSITIVE to differences in communication styles 

PONDER what you hear and feel before you speak

EXAMINE your own assumptions and perceptions 

Keep CONFIDENTIALITY 

TRUST ambiguity because we are NOT here to debate who is right or wrong. Also, trust each other, develop trust in the group.